Why Are Older Men So Obsessed With Twenty-Something Women?

younger women looking for older men

Throughout human history it has not been uncommon to see young women attaching themselves to successful older men, either through marriage or other arrangements. Their reasons for doing so can be multi-faceted and range from aesthetic preference to an attraction to the security of an older man. Equally interesting are the reasons an older man might want to attach himself to a younger woman. Perhaps he is attracted to her naivety or a lack of emotional/relationship baggage. Maybe he wishes to spend time with a girl who wouldn’t have given him the time of day when he was in his twenties. We will explore a few of these reasons here.

The young are more open-minded

Get your mind out of the gutter, I am not referring to sexual proclivities here (although this may have some truth to it as well) but to a hard-headedness of opinion. Older women, and adults in general, have had much longer to form strong opinions on certain subjects and as-such are less likely entertain the idea of changing their mind. A clash of minds like this is not always what someone is looking for when entering a relationship.

They want to mentor and share their experiences

There is also a certain appeal to acting as a teacher. Younger women, especially those in their twenties who are only just entering adulthood, simply know much less about life than their fifty or even thirty year old counter parts.

So many men go into relationships with younger women/sugar relationships looking to act as a mentor that it has even become a pre-selectable preference on popular dating websites like Seeking.com. Although it can sometimes be awkward to date a much younger woman in their field, feeling as if they are helping a young, talented young person reach their full potential can be incredibly rewarding.

Young women show interest in them

Many older men choose to date younger women simply because they did not have the opportunity to date like this when they were younger. Maybe they were too busy with their career to spend much time dating, maybe they didn’t grow into their looks until they were much older, or perhaps they now live the sort of lifestyle that can make a young woman look past a significant age gap. Many feel that since they didn’t have the opportunity to date young women when they themselves were in their twenties they should take advantage of the opportunity they have now.

Successful older men feel pressured by their peers to date younger women

On the other side of this coin is also the pressure older, successful men can feel to date young, beautiful women. Although we are widely taught not to view women as objects and status symbols, the fact of the matter is that an older man walking into a room with a beautiful young woman on his arm projects a very specific image that is not likely to be misunderstood. He is broadcasting to that room his level of success, his wealth, and his personal charisma, all traits he must exploit in order to attract a younger woman.

They are finally interested in starting a family

Unlike women, who are unable to naturally bear children after menopause, men are able to father children throughout their entire life. Although male fertility does diminish with age, a man in is fifties can decide to start having children with very little difficulty. In fact, a man may choose to wait to start a family until he feels he is sufficiently established and is ready for the financial stress of children. As such, he may find himself gravitating towards women of prime child-bearing age (early to mid-twenties). This is likely also why we, as a society, find women in their twenties to be the most attractive: they are the most likely to easily produce healthy babies. Many younger women prefer to date older men for this very reason. Financial stability is important before starting a family and can be a significant attractant for a young woman feeling the same way.

Older men are more attracted to traditional gender roles

Men of a certain age, having been raised in an earlier era, may be looking for a more traditional male/female relationship than has become the norm in modern times. While a single woman of his own age is more likely to be personally established, a younger woman will rely more upon her older partner financially and defer to his age and experience when making joint decisions. This type of relationship can be very attractive and tempting for older men, causing them to pursue young women for this express reason.

They don’t want a traditional relationship

On the other hand, some older men may be choosing to date younger women for the exact opposite reason than that stated above. It is possible they have spent their entire lives in traditional relationships, perhaps they are still in a traditional relationship, a marriage that has lost its spark and gone stale. In this case they might want to date a younger woman whose expectations towards a relationship have a much more modern bent. With current hook-up culture many young women do not expect a serious relationship, especially not from an older man, and are happy to trade their time as a bit of arm candy in exchange for a standard of living they cannot afford on their own.

They don’t see age and date who they want to

Despite all these reasons older men want to date younger women and all the reasons younger women may want to date those older men there is the least cynical: age is just a number. Some people, both young and old, prefer to look past age when looking for a partner. So what if your kindred spirit is 25 years younger than you? If two consenting adults simply like each other and want to spend time in each other’s company, why not? Have at it!

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